Who Put the ‘Moron’ in Oxymoron?

Damned if I know <shrug> but here are some nameless copyright-free Google Images of no one in particular to look at while we ponder that question. . .

Friends 003

Ulysses S. Grant, the famous Civil War general and later president, was known for his unpretentious manner and dry wit…one stormy night he walked into the general store in Galena, Illinois,  where several lawyers were warming themselves near the fire, none of whom recognized Galena’s favorite son and none desiring to admit him to their circle.  One took notice of Grant, however, in his bedraggled condition, calling out “Here’s a stranger, gentlemen, who looks like he traveled through hell to get here.” Grant’s nod of assent was met with another taunt,  “And what did you find there?”  Grant didn’t even hesitate:  “Just like here, all of the lawyers gathered together in a place where it’s really hot…”

“Ahhh, only in Wayne County can I get this cushy job where all I have to do is babysit the cretins who work for me and to hell with the taxpayers because they are dumb-asses for whom I care not — and as long as we keep that between you and me, my dear, the status quo will rule, and they will reelect me year after year while I take their money, lie to them, and then squash them like a bug!!!!!     Bwahahahahahaha!”

“Think I’ll go golfing now.”

P.S.  “Actually, they keep me pretty busy. Here, see for yourself:”

I have a terrible mouth on me -- not because I cuss, it's because of all the lies that fly out of it...

I have a terrible mouth on me — not because I cuss, it’s all the lies that fly out of it…

"Yeah, but the REAL bald-faced lies come from ME!"

“Yeah, but the REAL bald-faced lies come from ME!”

...and I get to do all the dirty work, defending them from all the trouble they caused...but it's all good, the court's are OUR friend, not YOURS...

…and I have to clean up the messes they make…but it’s all good, the court is OUR friend, not YOURS…

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